When Motherhood Feels Like a Failure

I am going to be honest, brutally honest. Some days being a mom is hard and well, it seriously feels like I am failing. I mean, I am outnumbered 7 to 1… actually if you include my husband in this, it is 8 to 1… At those odds, I am likely failing somewhere, Right? So, what do we do when motherhood feels like a failure?

Failing managing Finances

The last year or so has been an unusually stressful time on the farm, long long season, crops were somewhat icky (production low), and prices?? UGH, not good. Stress is high just trying to figure out how ends will meet and work out to prepare for the next season… We are within weeks we will again be flying through the fields in hopes of bringing in some income, but let’s just say, God is going to have to be a big part of getting us through this time. We are DRY. Very DRY and well, we aren’t growing cactus…

When motherhood feels like a failure…

Motherhood is just plain hard. You work harder than anyone at their 9-5 or whatever crazy hours job others have and well, the rewards typically aren’t visible right away, or within a year or two… more like 20+ years later. You clean up messes that are just plain unreal… as in you never would have dreamed of… In some seasons you rarely get any sleep, forget that whole idea of enough sleep.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Ways We are Failing

And then it seems to hit you… you are feeling like a failure. Your teenager is mean… to you, to your husband to his/her siblings. Your younger kiddos aren’t reading and forgot everything they learned a week ago. Every meal you fix is blah, and then… then you look in the mirror and you see it… you don’t even recognize yourself…

Are We Even Attractive Anymore?

Maybe it is the huge bags and dark circles under your eyes, or where the heck did those crows feet come from??? Oh and the baby weight that is still hugging you, in floppy lumps all around… Ugh… it ain’t pretty… but somehow our husbands still seem to find us attractive… I think God gives them rose colored lenses the night we conceive?

That one child that is sure to convince you, you are failing

Lately, I have one child that truly makes me feel like a huge failure… they don’t just make me feel like a failure as a mom, but as a wife, woman and child of God. This child seems to make it their daily project to be sure that I know I am clueless in this journey. If it weren’t for some of my other children, I would fully believe it. But, I have had to look around and see that I am doing the best that I can with the tools God has given me. Sometimes I see that I am not doing the best I can and not using the tools God has given me, and am actually letting Satan have his hold…

She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. Proverbs 31:15

When you REALLY are Failing

That is when we are TRULY failing… when we won’t wake to the fact that we have let Satan have a hold. So, stop letting him have a hold. Stop and pray right now and ask God to guide you, and to give you the wisdom to get through this journey as a mom…

25Strength and dignity are her clothing,

And she smiles at the future.

26She opens her mouth in wisdom,

And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

27She looks well to the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

28Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

29“Many daughters have done nobly,

But you excel them all.”

Proverbs 31:25-29

Getting Through the Failure Season

Other ways to help you through when motherhood feels like a failure:

• Have a list of 911 mom friends you can call on…
• Keep a few books that will encourage you as a mom on hand

Some of my favorite books are:

The Busy Mom’s Guide to Daylight

The Busy Mom’s Guide to Romance

How to Have a Heart for Your Kids

How Many Times do I Have to Tell You

• Listen to Podcast from encouraging Christian Women, Heidi St. John has a lot of great CDs to encourage you!!
• Create or Join a Facebook group that is based on Titus 2… or at least has Titus 2 in mind with their focus.
• Post Encouraging Scripture around your home.
• Keep a journal of your successes
• Stay in God’s Word

When Motherhood Feels Like Failure, we have to pray, pray for ourselves, our husbands, our friends and our children. Remember, it is not a bad thing to take a day and just have fun… those are the things your children will remember. Do it!!